Where There's a Turkey There's a Way
by sssms
Summary: Bosco and the crew find trouble on Turkey Day.
1. Chapter 1

Where There's a Turkey There's a Way

Bosco and the crew find trouble on Turkey Day

Warnings: Mild if any.

Disclaimers: Sadly, I still do not own them, or the Wung Fu Palace, or a turkey….

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"All units, we need any available unit to respond to a disturbance at 109 39th Street at the Wung Fu Palace. I repeat, we need any available unit to respond to a disturbance at the Wung Fu Palace."

"Great, as if this day weren't crazy enough." Faith grumbled.

"I wonder what Chen Li has done now. You'd think he'd learn to leave Ming alone by now." Bosco quipped, remembering the day that Ming broke Chen Li's nose, despite her tiny frame.

Faith shook her head before grabbing her radio. "55 David responding. I don't' know, Bosco. But I wish they'd learn to get along or move to another neighborhood."

"Oh, come on Faith. At least they're entertaining." Bosco chuckled.

"I don't want to be entertained, Bosco. I want to be at home, having Thanksgiving dinner with my family."

"What? You don't want to spend Thanksgiving with me? I'm hurt." Bosco teased with a mock frown.

Faith hit the brakes as the squad slid to the curb in front of the Wung Fu Palace Chinese Buffet. "Not really, Bosco." She muttered. "Let's go see what Chen has done."

Exiting the squad she hurried to the front door of the restaurant with Bosco on her heals, determined to make quick work of Chen and Ming if she had to arrest them both. Slinging the door open and stepping inside, she froze in her tracks.

"What the…" Bosco stared ahead as stunned as his partner was to see a huge turkey prancing around in the middle of the restaurant. Chen Li stood nearby wringing his hands and watching the bird while Ming shook a finger in his face and chattered in Chinese. Bosco could only imagine what she must be saying to him.

"Chen?" Faith asked in confusion, attracting the attention of the man who hadn't noticed either of the officers arriving.

"OH! Thanks to the Heavens. You are here, Officers!" The Chinese man seemed relieved.

"Chen, there's a turkey loose in your restaurant." Faith pointed out, her brow creased in confusion.

"Wow, great pick up, Yokas." Bosco answered sarcastically, earning a glare from Faith.

"Tis idiot! He order live turkey for Tanksgiving." Ming started. "Then he go to chop it head off and he let the turkey loose! He make mess all over my kitchen and now he ruin whole restaurant."

"I didn't know turkey would be live! It no my fault!" Chen snapped back, defending himself.

"You do someting," Ming insisted, looking toward Bosco and Faith.

"Us?" Bosco asked incredulously.

"Yes, you. You police. You do something!" Ming reiterated.

"Well, Ming, we're not animal control. Animal control takes care of …uhh…turkeys." Faith replied.

"See, I tole you they no help." Ming said matter of factly to her husband, crossing her arms in satisfaction. "NPYD…no help. They wortless."

"Now hold on a minute." Bosco protested.

"Hold on a minute." Ming repeated, mockingly. "You hold on to Chinese New Year. If you not wortless, you catch turkey."

Bosco bowed up, taking Ming's comments as a challenge. "I just might do that." He replied tersely.

"Now hold on Bosco. This is a matter for animal control. We don't know anything about turkeys."

"It's just a dumb bird, Faith. It's no match for two of New York's finest." Bosco shot back, pulling his night stick from his belt. "Come here, you stupid bird."


	2. Chapter 2

Where There's a Turkey There's a Way, Part 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any of them, but I sure intend to have fun with them.

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"It's just a dumb bird, Faith. It's no match for two of New York's finest." Bosco shot back, pulling his night stick from his belt. "Come here, you stupid bird."

Bosco took two quick steps toward the turkey but slowed when the bird ruffled its tail feathers, clucked loudly, and pranced back and forth. Crouching slightly, one hand out in front of him and his baton in the other, Bosco crept forward not deterred by the winged beast's show.

"Come on now. Be a good bird. Don't make me play rough."

Faith rolled her eyes. "Bosco, this isn't a good idea."

Bosco jumped back slightly as the bird strutted toward him gobbling, neck feathers standing on end.

"Don't think you're going to scare me, Mister." Bosco growled, lurching forward.

At that, the bird began to run frantically around the room between the tables with Bosco hot on its tail.

"Bosco!" Faith called.

"Oh my," Ming sighed.

"I've got you now!" Bosco ground out, narrowly missing in an attempt to grab the bird's tail feathers. He tumbled to the floor but recovered quickly.

Ming and Chen Li gasped in unison as the bird suddenly flapped its wings, flying up and landing on the middle of the buffet table.

Turning back toward its pursuer, the turkey puffed its chest out, feathers erect, and let out a series of loud gobbles.

"Shoo…shoo….you get down….get…get…." Ming waved a dishtowel at the bird trying to force it off of the table. "Tis how you catch bird? You morot!" she shouted at Bosco.

"You want him to catch bird. You leave him alone." Chen quipped at his wife.

"You tell her, Chen." Bosco answered, his own chest puffing out as he faced the object of his chase.

"Bosco, we really should call animal control." Faith admonished.

But Bosco was not listening. He was fully focused on the task at hand, determined to take one Thanksgiving dinner into custody. He crept slowly from one end of the table to the other circling around one end and then the other, trying to get behind the turkey.

But the bird was not as dumb as Bosco thought. He turned with every move the officer made, watching him with wary eyes.

Bosco stopped suddenly a grin on his face. _We'll see how smart you are, Mr. Bird._

With one quick motion Bosco flung his night stick onto another table to the left of the turkey, causing the animal to jump and look in that direction. Then moving with catlike speed, the officer grabbed the edge of the table cloth covering the buffet table and threw the cloth over the turkey's body, jumping swiftly on top of the flailing cloth covered beast.

"Bosco!" Faith shouted as Ming shrieked.

And the fight was on. A mound of legs, claws, and feathers tumbled around on the buffet table, the turkey gobbling, clucking, and screeching while Bosco screamed, a long wretched wail that reminded Faith of a horror movie. Finally the two tumbled off the table onto the floor with a thud, both trapped in the white linen cloth.

"Stop you fool!" Ming demanded, as the two created a path of destruction in their struggle.

Finally the turkey popped out of the tangled mix, leaving Bosco flailing away under the cloth.

For a moment Faith was alarmed by her partner's strangled cries. But finally his head emerged from under the table cloth. Although his face was scratched slightly, his breathing ragged, and his hair on end, he didn't appear to be seriously injured.

"Tats one tough bird." Chen spoke in amazement.

"Bosco, are you ok?" Faith asked, trying not to laugh at his harried appearance.

"I'm fine, Faith. I'm gonna kill that bird." He declared as he struggled free of the linen and too his feet. He began moving towards the turkey his hand on his gun, but Faith stepped into his path.

"No, Bosco. Leave it alone. I'm going to call animal control." Faith instructed, reaching for the radio clipped to her waist.

"No, Faith!" Bosco demanded as he grabbed Faith's wrist. "We're not calling animal control." Bosco insisted, not willing to be the butt of the animal control team's jokes. If he was going to embarrass himself, it'd be with his own fellow officers. "Call for backup."

"WHAT?"

"Call for backup!" Bosco growled.


	3. Chapter 3

Where There's a Turkey There's a Way, Part 3

Warnings: Mild.

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own them.

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"You called for backup….for a TURKEY?" Sully asked, incredulously.

Ty chuckled.

"Why didn't you call animal control?" Sully added, looking at Faith.

"We're not calling animal control!" Bosco huffed.

"You know Bosco's got that thing with McHenry in animal control." Faith reminded.

"You mean that fight over the broad? They're still mad about that?" Sully inquired.

"We don't need animal control!" Bosco snapped. "Sul, you take that side and I'll come from this side. Did you bring the taser?"

Sully looked at Bosco like he'd grown a second head. "I don't think this is a very good idea, Bosco."

"I told him that." Faith added.

"It's just a bird, Sully."

"Yeah," Sully replied, looking around at the disaster that used to be the Wing Fu Buffet. "Just a bird that's already whipped your butt from the looks of it."

"Are you going to help me, or not?" Bosco growled.

"Police!" Ming said with disdain. "You all the same. Afraid of silly bird. Wortless! What I tell you, Chen?"

Chen looked back and forth between Ming and Officer Sullivan, choosing to remain silent on the matter.

"That's enough." Sully instructed Ming as he began to move to one side of the turkey.

He stopped short when the animal ruffled its feathers, its chest bowed out, gobbling at Sully.

Ty looked on in amusement. "What's wrong, Sul. It's just a silly bird." He quipped.

Faith sighed, shaking her head. It was going to be a long day.

"Yeah, well I don't see you over here helping, Junior." Sully shot back. His determination renewed, he moved forward towards the bird, his big burly hands outstretched. "Come here, you. It's time for dinner."

Seeing the big man lurching toward it, the turkey took off in a run again, headed first towards Bosco and then towards a very surprised Davis.

"Whoa…WHOA…get back! GET BACK NOW!" Ty shouted, waving his hands at the bird.

"Catch him, Davis! Don't just stand there!" Sully instructed.

Seeing the turkey turning to run the other direction, Ty lunged toward its back.

Unfortunately, he lunged forward at the same time that Bosco swung his night stick.

THWAPP!

"Oops!" Bosco commented sheepishly as a moaning Ty grabbed his head. "Sorry."

"Bosco, come on!" Sully shouted having managed to corner the turkey near the front of the restaurant.

As Faith hurried over to check on Ty, Bosco ran towards Sully and the wild bird.

Sully pulled his taser gun out as he approached, determined not to be defeated. "We've got you now," he declared, with an almost evil laugh. He lunged toward the bird and fired the taser, but jumped back when he heard Bosco screaming.

For a moment Bosco thought he'd been struck by lightening. His entire body spasmed as he fell backwards into a giant oriental vase. "AHHHHAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Sully shuddered as Bosco's fall sent the vase hurdling towards the pane glass window at the front of the restaurant, causing it to shatter.

Ming covered her eyes, shaking her head and muttering in Chinese.

"Bosco!" Sully called out in concern, moving towards his fellow officer to find him lying in a ball on the floor moaning.

"Sul, the bird!" Faith called out, pointing in the direction of the window.

Much to Sully's dismay the wretched beast strutted through the broken window and casually walked up the street as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Crap!" came Sully's reply.

And so ended the 55's famous turkey incident. Animal control looked for the renegade turkey for hours but it couldn't be found. But still on an occasional dark fall night, the crew will receive a call from the neighborhood from a concerned citizen reporting hearing a mysterious noise that sounds like a turkey gobbling.


End file.
